10/18/2026
🔥 KUNDALINI. THE REBIRTH. THE COSMIC JOKE. 🐍🖤💧
What if everything you thought was breaking you was actually refining you?
I’ve been sitting with this realization, and honestly… I’m laughing at the cosmic joke. 😂😭✨
Because looking back at my journey—from my work with the obsidian yoni egg, to the deep inner work, the unraveling, the back injury that completely changed the trajectory of my life, and everything that has been unfolding since—I’m beginning to see a bigger picture.
Not that I needed to suffer.
Not that every painful thing was somehow meant to happen.
But that even in the moments I couldn’t understand, I was still becoming someone I had never been before.
I was being stripped back to the truth of who I am.
My body forced me to slow down when my mind wanted to keep pushing.
My old identity began falling apart when I could no longer live the way I had been living.
The things I used to tolerate started feeling impossible to carry.
The patterns I once identified with became impossible to ignore.
And the deeper I went into myself, the more I began questioning everything I thought I knew about healing, consciousness, energy, creation, surrender, and what it means to truly be free.
Then there’s this whole kundalini awakening piece of my journey.
The serpent energy.
The sacred feminine.
The life force.
The death and rebirth symbolism.
The way our bodies can become the very place where we begin to confront what our minds have spent years trying to outrun.
My exploration of the obsidian yoni egg was part of my personal journey into feminine embodiment, shadow work, and the parts of myself I was ready to meet.
And now, looking back, I can see how much of this journey has been about reclaiming my relationship with my body, my power, my boundaries, and my own inner knowing.
Not bypassing the human experience to become something spiritual.
But learning how to be fully human while making room for something deeper.
And do you know what I’ve realized?
I’ve been afraid of my own rebirth.
I’ve been asking for expansion while grieving the identity that got me here.
I’ve been praying for freedom while feeling terrified of what freedom might require me to release.
I’ve been asking to step into a bigger life while wondering whether I’m ready to hold it.
I’ve been asking to become the woman I can feel emerging within me while still trying to protect the woman who learned how to survive.
And THAT is where the cosmic joke gets me. 😂
Because how many times have I asked God to show me the way, only to become uncomfortable when the path required me to surrender control?
How many times have I asked to know the truth, only to discover that the truth would challenge everything I had built my identity around?
How many times have I prayed for transformation and then looked at the transformation happening in my own life and thought…
“WAIT. NOT LIKE THAT.” 💀🤣
And suddenly, I find myself understanding Krishna on a whole other level.
Not because I’ve figured out every mystery of existence, but because I’m beginning to understand the difference between clinging to what is temporary and learning to act from something deeper than fear.
The teachings of the Bhagavad Gita around duty, attachment, surrender, and acting without being consumed by the outcome are landing differently for me now.
There is something profound about realizing that the battle isn’t always about forcing life to become what we want.
Sometimes it’s about learning how to meet the life in front of us without abandoning ourselves in the process.
To take action without needing to control every result.
To love without possessing.
To grow without clinging to who we used to be.
To surrender without becoming passive.
To trust God while still taking responsibility for our choices.
And to recognize that we can be in the middle of a transformation without needing to understand every single thing that is happening.
I spent so much time looking for the breakthrough.
Maybe this season has been about becoming someone who can actually live on the other side of one.
The back injury changed my life in ways I never would have chosen. It brought grief, limitations, uncertainty, and a kind of forced stillness I wasn’t prepared for.
But within that reality, I have also been learning.
Learning to listen.
Learning to receive.
Learning to question the stories I tell myself.
Learning to recognize when fear is driving me.
Learning that my worth isn’t measured by how much I can carry.
Learning that rest isn’t failure.
Learning that I don’t have to keep proving I can survive everything.
And perhaps that is the refinement.
Not becoming invincible.
Not transcending my humanity.
But becoming more honest, more discerning, more embodied, and more willing to live in alignment with what I know to be true.
I don’t know exactly what this next chapter will look like.
I don’t need to turn every sensation into a sign or every difficult experience into a cosmic explanation.
I can honor the mystery without pretending I have all the answers.
But I do know this:
I am no longer interested in rebuilding a life that requires me to abandon myself to maintain it.
And if this is a rebirth, then perhaps I don’t need to fear the woman emerging from the ashes.
Perhaps I can finally let her live.
The woman who doesn’t need to earn her right to exist.
The woman who can hold both the sacred and the ordinary.
The woman who can laugh at herself, cry when she needs to, ask for help, set boundaries, love deeply, and still leave room for the unknown.
The woman who understands that awakening isn’t always a lightning bolt from the heavens.
Sometimes it’s a thousand little moments when you finally stop betraying what your soul has been trying to tell you.
And sometimes, after all the searching, all the questioning, all the unraveling, and all the praying…
You look around at your life, realize you’re still here, and start laughing.
Because maybe the whole time you were begging to become someone new…
You were being invited to stop being afraid of who you already were becoming.
😂🐍🖤
I AM NOT HERE TO ESCAPE THIS HUMAN EXPERIENCE. I AM HERE TO MEET IT WITH MORE TRUTH, MORE LOVE, MORE COURAGE, AND MORE SURRENDER.
The serpent sheds its skin.
The lotus rises through the mud.
The warrior learns when to act and when to release the outcome.
And this woman?
She’s learning to trust the unfolding.
Not because she knows exactly where it’s taking her.
But because she finally understands that she doesn’t have to control every chapter to participate in her own becoming.
The rebirth I feared might be the freedom I’ve been praying for.
And honestly?
The cosmic joke is hilarious. 😂✨💧
Have you ever looked back at your life and realized you were grieving an identity you had actually outgrown? 🐍🔥🌀✨
