02/02/2024
This last year really has been the greatest challenge I have ever been bestowed. Without ALL of Y‘ALL, I don’t know how I would’ve survived. I knew that my time was coming to an end in Las Vegas this time last year, I knew I wanted something completely different far away and apart from my comfort zone. Some would call my choice totally haywire, but I knew exactly what I was planning the entire time. I needed this sobering experience more than life itself, I needed to put myself up to the challenge that came with it, and I’m grateful 🥹 for all the ups and downs along the way.
I HAVE REFLECTED so much in this past year, DUG DEEP within myself and my soul to understand my purpose and my worth. There was SO MUCH internal blockage keeping me from growing any further. I was stuck and I was miserable 😩 AF, I didn’t know how much everything truly needed to change, I just knew a change was coming Drastically and Dramatically.
I Cried & I Screamed in Pain from all the Layers of myself I was slowing shedding away. Every time I pulled away from my reality, it just pushed me even further to accepting my destiny. Life wasn’t going to let me give up that easily, it was going to make it astonishingly difficult for me to do so. Every single Fork in the Road became the difference between the Right Way and/or The Wrong Way, and the only way to stray was Straightforward.
I was Sick and Tired of being this version of myself, for a long time I had let myself go into Drug Addiction, I had such a Love/Hate Relationship with Co***ne that LASTED YEARS until I became pregnant. I also dabbled in L*D, Ketamine, Shrooms, & Molly every other day… in an attempt to just fill a void that not even my accomplishments or any intimate connections could fulfill. I was running on empty but seemingly full of life. My Existence was Bleak. That was the only Mental Health I was used to having, Just Doing Drugs, the good kind.. but still. Wrong for my healing, and I trauma bonded way too long with that version of myself.
I couldn’t do what I was so used to doing to escape my problems, that s**t just wasn’t working out. I had to Leave Las Vegas and make a new way for my Child and Myself. No longer was I alone in this world, even though I felt it everyday and every step along the way as a single Mother, I knew ultimately that I had a responsibility GREATER than myself. I’ve struggle so much during this past year, but it was a struggle that was necessary and honestly I couldn’t have done it without all of your HELP and I’m Happy it Happened.
My community showed me just how much they really loved me and supported me. Because of your generosity I Was able to relocate across states and secure housing last year. I couldn’t have done it without ALL OF Y’all, I LOVE YOU ALL SO FU***NG MUCH!!! When my baby needed formula Y’all were there, when I needed work shoes Y’all where there, when I needed to sell some art to pay my bills Y’all supported and purchased. I couldn’t have done it without you all, some of you REALLY REALLY CAME THROUGH FOR ME, & for that I will FOREVER be grateful 🥲. Your Love showed me what Life was really all about. It helped me grow and rebuild myself all over again from scratch. I needed that reset, restart, to set me straight again. I’LL
In that year I applied and worked at a few places ALL management roles, after all I hadn’t worked for anyone in over a decade, I was so used to being an independent contractor and my hustle being my income, IT WAS HARD AF to revert back to starting at the bottom or completely all over, working for companies that didn’t appreciate my expertise or work ethic or that just were extremely toxic work environments, but still I didn’t wether and I didn’t give up. I even started doing OF again for a few months just to be able to keep the lights on when I was in between jobs… everything about this entire year was meant to shape me or break me and I’m so HAPPY Y’ALL Because I feel like a New Woman everyday I wake up and go to work for a Company I absolutely Love and Respect and whom believe in my ability to make a difference.
The life I used to have , I wouldn’t dream of ever going back to it. I was really out there living so fast, not getting any younger, letting my dreams pass me by, procrastinating on my endeavors. Chilling with the crowds that had a few overdoses, a few too many times. I knew I needed better for myself and for my life, I’m glad I found my reason in my Son , he completes my purpose. He saved my life more than I will ever know or understand it. I accepted every challenge that came with this relocation and being a minimalist. I’ve bought all my clothes and my sons toys at Goodwill, no shame in that. I’ve received gifts for him from his daycare providers and hand me downs too. I wouldn’t be able to have survived some tough times without the donations of others. Through whatever weather we face we still get up everyday, get ready for daycare, and he goes off to be a big boy and I go off to work and make a consistent difference for him and I. Come Snow, Rain or Sunshine, I GET UP EVERYDAY for Mine.
I LOVE YOU ALL SO FU***NG MUCH‼️
❤️😘😍😊🥰💕💙💜💗🖤💛💖💞💚❣️💓🧡💘💝🤟🏽😽💟🫶🤍🤎
THANK YOU FOR CHANGING MY LIFE ‼️
Love,
♥️
