06/07/2020
In the spirit of what I call "new fables", I`d like to offer this.
The man who devoured a God
Hard times had come once again and the world had become distorted. Instead of expanding and humming it had begun to shrink and buzz until it became no bigger than the feelings in my body and the noise in my head. In times like these we learn to make do. We look to what immediately surrounds us for something to help us get thru the troubled times Something to help ease the gnawing in our bellies and the buzzing in our heads. So I looked to the forest to find what I needed to sustain myself and those I love. I took my knife, my bow, and my pack and went looking for whatever might sustain me and my family during these lean and hungry times.
My plan was to forage for what was needed. To collect whatever I came across to keep me going and bring back enough to get us through plus enough to put aside if things got tougher and others came to lay claim to the bounty that lay close to our home. I had intended to gather just what grew nearby as Spring was in full bloom and perhaps a few smaller animals to sustain us. I made a deal with the forest to leave the larger ones until Fall when we really needed to think about winter and really lean times. I had been going out for several days and my pack seemed to always return only half full of shoots and other gatherings from the forest floor. Food and game seemed to be far more scarce than usual and the constant rumbling of my stomach seemed like the only company I`d keep until this all turned around. I was thinking to myself that life shouldn`t be this hard, especially after enduring the trials of winter and now that the green was beginning to unfold around us.
I hadn`t intended to take any big game as per our agreement but there it was at the edge of the grove I had entered. A huge, mature stag with shining horns was standing looking away from me and off into the distance. My stomach tightened and I forgot my promise to the forest. I heard only the growling of my stomach and the pounding of my own blood in my ears. I silently slid an arrow into place and began to creep closer. My world shrank again to include only me and the buck. I forgot the stories and lore of my people, I forgot my promise and partnership with the forest, I forgot to move slowly and make time for prayer, communion with and guidance from the spirits that surround all of us. My world shrank to just me, the stag and the hunger I felt. I took the shot and the stag fell cleanly, it was a quick death.
As I cut out the heart of the animal I was overcome by the need to also kill the hunger inside me so I bit into the heart before thanking and making offerings to the spirit of this being which had offered itself to me. Instead, as I filled my belly, my own heart became filled with remorse as the spirit of this animal let it`s true nature be known. What flooded into my head as the remaining blood from the heart flowed into my mouth was the part of our lore that reminds us that the gods sometimes travel to this world and take on other forms. Too late I was reminded that when we come across something that looks like a wonderful opportunity, almost too good to be true, it may be one of the gods come to visit. We are told we should trail and observe things such as this if we want to stay in the good graces of and in balance with the gods and spirits in all worlds. Too late I realized I had just killed and then eaten the heart of a god. Too late I realized I had taken far more than what was needed to sustain myself and those close to me. In my haste I had broken something that could not be repaired, my word and relationship with the forest and the gods.
I decided to try to make the best of this and hauled the body of the god up into the trees to keep other predators from getting to it then I set out to get help hauling it back to the village. The next day I told the others from the village of my windfall mentioning nothing about the true nature of the stag. We traveled back to the edge of the glen, took it down then skinned and cut up the buck, dividing it into pieces we could more easily carry out of the forest. As we worked my guilt and remorse faded. I reasoned that at least I could share what looked like good fortune with others. I had no idea that I was also sharing my guilt and debt as well as my gain.
Here`s the thing, Guilt shared is not the same as guilt atoned for or reparations made. What looks like a golden opportunity can also have dark consequences. At the following feast what looked like fine meat from what I had killed and we had carried back never seemed enough to satiate the hunger of my village. even after the feast was over and the entire stag consumed. Not until we all went home to our beds did we see in our troubled dreams the beginning of the fading link between ourselves and our gods. That lost connection,like our continuing hunger and thirst, would never be enough to restore any of us.
As I sit here telling about the day that I saw and killed a god I think what did I do to be so unlucky. It comes down to this; I acted in haste. Instead of slowing down and observing before taking a life altering action I rushed in and let my hunger for more than what I needed control my vision. Then I tried to escape my responsibility by remaining silent and trying to transfer my guilt onto others.I cared only about my own needs never considered the consequences for all involved.
Killing a god is one thing, eating a god is something entirely different. Once done you`ll find that devouring the god is the easy part. The thing about gods is they endure even when we sever our connections with them. We take them in and then they consume us from the inside out until they and our bones are the only things left .
I tell this tale as an offering, an offering and atonement made too late. When you want to rush to judgement remember to slow down, observe until you have some understanding of the true nature of what you are looking at, and consider the consequences of your actions. You, your family and your village will be better off if you do.
May you never hunger, may you never thirst.
