"THE CREATION"
And it came to pass that God did look again upon His creation. He did see that something was missing. He saw the birds flying over the face of the earth and decided that man, too, should fly
He thought unto Himself, "First, there should be someone to teach man to fly". And there appeared upon the land a small gaggle of men to fill that void. God looked down, shrugged His shoulders
and thought, "Oh well, it's better than nothing" -- for they were better than nothing. And He called them ATC IPs
And the Lord spoke forth unto the heavens and said, 11Let there be flying beasts of burden" And the clouds did part and there came forth a multitude of C-5s, C-17s, and C-130s that filled the skies. And God looked down and was satisfied - for they were satisfactory And He called them MAC PUKES
And then the Lord spoke forth again and said, "Let man send unto his enemies implements of destruction from on high". And the earth did tremble and winds did howl And there appeared a horde of Billy Mitchell's disciples living underground and in shelters, studying a myriad of scholarly volumes while on duty, and uttering a plethora of deadly phrases. And God looked down and saw that this was average -- for they were average And He called them SACTEENIES--
Then God spoke forth unto the heavens and the land and said, "Let man wreak terror and destruction at high speed close to the land" All at once the day turned into darkness, lightning did flash and thunder echoed across the heavens. Suddenly there did appear groups of brash and cocky men. Each one was clad in a shabby green bag with rolled up sleeves, open zippers, dirty patches and a grimy scarf; each one wore a calculator watch and carried a dogeared checklist And God looked down and saw that this was bad -for they were bad, and they said they were bad -- they were the TAR. And He called them FIGHTER-NOTS
But they were an unruly and disorganized lot. They needed direction! And God spoke forth thrice (unto the sky, the land, and the sea) and said, "Let there be my chosen flyers!" And the earth did quake, waters did rise up, mountains did crumble into the seas, and great rocks did part Soon there did appear squadrons of outstanding men. Some rose up out of the CONUS, a few from PACAF, and others from USAFE. And still more did spew silently forth from the pipeline at RTU bases. They were dressed in clean, immaculate flight suits, their boots and patches did shine, and their bearing was perfect. They, too, did wear digital watches and toted checklists, but, they also carried a map case containing scores of aeronautical charts and grease pencils. And God looked down and saw that this was GOOD
-- For they were GOOD. And He called them FORWARD AIR CONTROLLERS
But, verily, the fighter pilots did remain uncontrollable, a chosen flyers did covet the faster airplanes that the fighter pilots did possess -- and they sought to be like them. God was dismayed and He did cry out unto the land, the sea, the sky, even unto the expanse of the cosmos, "Let there be someone to bring order unto this confusion. And the earth did tremble and shake. Great chasms did appear. Mountains belched forth molten rock and rained fire upon the land. The seas boiled and great tidal waves did pound upon the shores. Darkness did cover the face of the earth and stars did fall from the heavens. There was a great gnashing of teeth and wailing was heard throughout the land.Dispair, anguish, and chaos did prevail. Miraculously and forthwith there did appear upon the earth extraordinary, fearless men - brave of heart, strong of body, and sound of mind and they did band together from all corners of the world -- some did arrive in MRCs, CUCVs, HHMWVs, and APCs. Some descended upon the land under parachute canopies. And still others repelled from helicopters. They wore jungle fatigues and BDUs and did look out of place with their portable radios, and black berets. Still they were undaunted and they did persevere - Working together they controlled the FACs and the fighter pilots and they did restore peace and tranquility unto the land. And God looked down and saw that this was AMAZING -- for they are AMAZING
And He called them TACTICAL AIR CONTROL PARTIES
But, verily, the TACTICAL AIR CONTROL PARTIES were shackled by additional duties, Uranalysis testing, PME and on-line schooling. God saw this and knew there was freeing that was needed. God spoke forth for the last time unto the heavens, and the land, and the sea, and the sky, and the cosmos, and even unto the deepest darkest regions of hell. The underbelly of the earth, the stars in the sky, the heavens and sea all trembled and shuddered. The oceans boiled and pounded upon the land, mountains crumbled. Stars fell from the heavens, and from those stars came beautifully painted celestially painted 49cc scooters in colors of blue, green and read. These mighty steeds are ridden by those dedicated to liberate the oppressed and free them from their mundane lives. They are the KINGS OF CAS.
