05/26/2026
Not every woman healing from narcissistic abuse needs to immediately find “the lesson.”
Sometimes she just needs space to admit:
This hurt me. Deeply. And I don't know if I'll ever be the same again. So we turn to what we know:
the oracle cards,
the shadow work,
the reiki sessions,
the journaling prompts,
the nervous system regulation,
the “what was my part in this?” conversations.
And we don't allow ourselves to just get angry.
Not because it's bad.
But because anger feels unsafe for so many of us.
Especially if we were taught that being “healed” means being soft, understanding, compassionate, self-aware, and emotionally regulated all the time.
So instead of just being angry…
we intellectualize it.
Spiritualize it.
Try to transcend it. ~What does that even mean anyway? ;)
Meanwhile underneath all of that is a woman grieving the life she thought she was going to have.
And if I’m being honest?
Part of my healing has been realizing I was allowed to be fu***ng angry.
Angry that promises were made to me that were never going to be kept.
Angry that I kept trying to fix myself while carrying the weight of someone else’s dysfunction.
Angry that I spent years shrinking, overanalyzing, and searching for ways to “heal the relationship” instead of admitting I was genuinely hurting.
Because sometimes anger is healthy.
Sometimes anger is the thing that finally moves the energy.
When you’ve been stuck for years in:
“I wish he would come back.”
“I wish things could have been different.”
“I just want the pain to stop.”
“I just want to feel okay again…”
anger can become the first crack in the freeze response.
Not rage.
Not destruction.
Just movement.
A life force finally saying:
“No. This hurt me. And I deserved better.”
Not all anger is toxicity.
Sometimes anger is self-respect waking up after years of abandonment.
And maybe healing doesn’t always begin with forgiveness.
Maybe sometimes it begins the moment a woman stops trying to turn her pain into a spiritual performance…
and finally lets herself say:
“This was not okay.” 🌿
If this hits home for you comment "yes".