19/10/2026
I wanted to write this because I think thereās a part of the menopause conversation weāre still missing.
The āwho the f**k am I now?ā part.
When you donāt quite feel like yourself. When you love your people but wish theyād all leave you alone for five bloody minutes. When you start questioning things youāve happily put up with for years.
I donāt have a neat little answer to wrap it all up. But I do want us to be able to talk about it honestly, without having to make it sound prettier or more positive than it feels.
So Iāve put some thoughts into some words below. If any of it feels familiar, I hope it helps you feel a little less alone. Be kind to yourself.
Nikki x
Menopause: Who the F**k Am I Now?
One minute youāre getting on with your life. The next, youāre standing in the kitchen wondering why you came in, sweating through a clean shirt and considering whether everyone you know has always been this annoying.
Menopause has a way of turning the volume up on everything. Your sleep goes to s**t. Your patience gets shorter. The body youāve known for years starts doing things you didnāt approve, and suddenly the confidence you thought you had feels a bit wobbly.
Then there are your relationships. You might want to be hugged and left completely alone, preferably at the same time. Your partner canāt read your mind, your kids still need things, and your friends may be going through their own version of the same chaos. Itās easy to feel distant from people you love when youāre struggling to feel like yourself.
And thatās the part we donāt talk about enough. Menopause can make you question your looks, your choices, your relationships and what you actually want from the next chapter. That can be bloody unsettling. It can also be the moment you realise how much of your life youāve spent keeping everyone else comfortable. And suddenly you kinda resent that.
But youāre still the same person, even when you feel a little lost in it all. It might be a hotter, less patient person. With chin hairs and a tendency to cry a lot.
And yes, it might be tough.
But so are you.
You Glorious Bloody Woman.
Its your time to speak up.
Time to stop caring what everyone thinks.
Time to tell the idiots to f**k off and not regret it for a second.
Be kind to that woman. Sheās dealing with a lot and sheās allowed to take up some space.