10/06/2025
Must read! I promise it’s worth the minute it will take. 😂❤️🐮
As I’m getting into my cruiser this afternoon I hear Officer John Metzo tell dispatch that he’s out on a call that he was dispatched to.
“Good luck” was her reply.
“Good luck?” I say. “That’s weird”
My interest piqued, I open the call screen. The call location is Root Rd. Just North of Lorain Rd.
“A cow fell out of a truck”
Wait. What? I’m enroute. I am soooo enroute.
I arrive on scene and this is exactly as reported. Apparently a truck was pulling a trailer and the back door popped open and out came said cow. Unscathed, and making a concerted effort at freedom. Officer Ryan Jones is now there and they are trying to corral the fastest cow I’ve ever seen, though in fairness, my experience with cows is quite limited.
We go left, he goes right. We go right, he goes left. He manages to get across Root Rd with three cruisers trying to corral him before he fights a Subaru. We chase him straight into the open garage of Worcester’s. End game.
As we’re congratulating ourselves on being cowboys, he runs out of the open back door.
Son of a....
Back in pursuit.
He runs to the embankment of SR 10, finds the only hole in the perimeter fence, and heads for the highway. Bad. Very bad. Ryan has a decision to make, and he chooses ninja warrior over the other. He sprints up the embankment, heads him off, and talks him out of being murdered by a semi.
Long story short, we are able to corral him while driving our trusty steeds....well, Police Interceptors, through a really nice and understanding farmer’s soybean field. (Sorry again)
The owner shows up and immediately lets two more cows loose, which seems like an absolutely horrible idea, though again reference our lack of cow herding education. Turns out, it totally worked. Our fugitive cow runs over to the other two. After some negotiation, they convince him to get back in the trailer before things get worse.
While we’re talking about how we absolutely couldn’t get a rope on this cow the owner lets us in on the cow’s name. No joke. I swear to you this is his name.
Moodini.
I literally could not have made that up if I wanted to and it is absolutely fitting.
Anyway, Moodini is back where he belongs. Nothing is hurt, cars, cows, or people, and the citizens can once again sleep peacefully knowing they will not be trampled to death by a cow while checking their mail.
All in a days work. Rest easy citizens. Rest easy.
