04/19/2024
May we always seek the light, even in darkness. May we know there is hope, even when we feel hopeless. May we chose to live, even when death seems to be knocking at the door. May we know life will get better.
I say this in memory of my brother, Mark, who took his life 34 years ago next month. He would have turned 59, also in May, but he’ll forever be 25. He wrote these New Year’s Resolutions before his su***de. How I wish he would have taken his words to heart, and lived them in his time of despair. He wrote:
Think Positive
Get back into shape
Eat healthy foods
Reduce sugar intake (possibly by 100%) (white processed sugar!)
Make things happen
Go to school
Become independent
Make new friends
Help someone in need
Make plans for the future
Make money
Be informed
Attain a greater level of knowledge and wisdom
Put ideas to work
Do what you believe in & believe in what you do
Continue to stay away from drugs
Develop a new skill or enhance one that is present
Last but not least, be creative
*Never lose your sense of humor*
Always remember: It’s not as hard as it seems
Fear is only in the mind
Always wear a smile
Things can be overcome!
Be decisive
Write more letters
Achieve a greater sense of self control
Explore new horizons
*Be rude, crude, and aggressive. Walk all over others to get what you want* *see above*
I am missing Mark, who killed my brother. Su***de is a hard kind of death, in that the victim and perpetrator is one in the same. I’m beyond all the should haves, could haves, and would haves. And I’ve dealt with the judgment and questions, like didn’t you know? Or why didn’t you do anything? But I still feel his loss, and even more so finding a list in his writing. Resolutions are not enough if you don’t commit to them. Sigh.
***deisnottheanswer ***deawarness