Personalised Poems With a Twist./Chris Gair's Grand Gairytales

14/03/2017

So, Lynne Bain, the winner of the Gairytale competition, in February, here is your poem, before it gets printed and framed. I hope you enjoy it and your niece does when she's older.

CINDERELLA & TINKERBELL

(GO TO THE BALL)



Cinderella and Tinkerbell, have recently become best friends,
They will forever be like this, until time on this Earth ends.
But Sophie Elizabeth, is the real Cinders here,
Young, beautiful and sweet, with plenty of cheer.

Now, 'Tinkers' is from Pixie Hollow, where all the fairies live,
Always looking out for her friends, a generous willing to give.
Some say Tinkers is a pixie, but really, a fairy is she,
Also, it's been questioned, this friend might be a 'he'.

Sophie has now found out, there's an invite to a ball,
Her ugly step-sisters, so greedy, want to have it all.
They end up getting Sophie, to dress them up real nice,
Putting on jewellery, doing their hair, wishing they had lice.

Poor little Sophie, she has to stay at home,
Cleaning and sweeping the floor, crying, all alone.
Wishing she could go to the ball and have herself some fun,
Dancing 'n' drinking... and eating the odd cream bun.

A puff of smoke, there's a little lady, holding a silver wand,
"Sophie Elizabeth, tonight, with someone you will bond.
Pick a golden pumpkin, this will soon be real,
Six mice, six lizards and a rat, you must also reveal."

"So, dear little Sophie, you WILL go to the ball,
A touch with my magic wand and you will have it all.
A golden gown, glass slippers and oh such beautiful hair,
Entering the room, looking so gracious, everybody will stare.

The Prince, in whose honour, the great ball is for,
Will admire Sophie's beauty and dance all night with her.
But this young lady has been warned, be home before midnight,
Or everything the magic wand has done, will turn out 'not so right'.

The coach will turn back to a pumpkin, Sophie will be in rags,
Glass slippers becoming clogs, under her eyes, big bags.
She would end up back to normal, speaking to her cat,
Putting up with the step-sisters and doing this 'n' that.

Suddenly, a chime from the clock, the strike of midnight sounds,
Sophie now realises, that she has to leave the grounds.
Rushing away, without saying so much as 'Goodnight',
Losing one of her slippers, she quickly runs out of the light.

The prince was now so smitten, he's clearly madly in love.
Find who this slipper belongs to and the young woman he must have.
His ministers, whose duty it was, to find to whom it belongs,
Trying it on all the ladies there, whose feet, all were wrong.

Arriving at the step-mother's house, they want to see the sisters feet,
The slipper doesn’t fit them either, but on Sophie it is complete.
'Come with us fair maiden', the ministers said with glee,
Our prince awaits you with an engagement ring, for you're a bride to be.

Evil step-mother and the uglies, are looking on in dismay,
How beautiful Sophie Elizabeth, has managed to get away.
Now becoming a princess, after marrying the handsome prince,
Her horrible step-sisters, won't find, the cleaning such a cinch.

Happily ever after, Princess Sophie and the Prince shall live,
Their hearts to each other, forever they will give.
This poem couldn't really, end any other way,
Bringing a feeling of joy and warmth, every single day.

Tinkerbell will still be there, when Sophie needs her most,
An everlasting friendship, is what they both can boast.
So nothing is impossible, don't settle for anything less,
Look at Sophie Elizabeth, she's now a stunning princess!


The End.

Chris Gair.
14th March 2017.

10/03/2017

With Mother's Day just a couple of weeks away, why not get a loving poem written, to show your mum just how much she means to you.
All done on good quality paper, beautiful font and very reasonable prices.

01/03/2017

GAIRYTALE COMPETITION RESULT:

I have asked my friend Natalie, to choose a number from the characters chosen, in the comments section for the competition...Natalie chose number 4 and the winner is Lynne Bain.
Congratulations, Lynne. I will private message you for some details.

A huge thank you to everyone who took the time to enter the competition. Watch this space for future ideas and competitions.

21/02/2017

If you are stuck for a gift for someone, any occasion, or no occasion needed, why not get a personalised poem with a twist...?

09/02/2017

GAIRYTALE COMPETITION TIME:

Leave the names of two of your favourite Fairytale characters in the comments section for a chance to win a Personalised Poem With a Twist.
Then Like & Share this page, with the word 'Done' in the comments section.

Winner will be picked at random on 01 March 2017.
The very best of luck.

08/02/2017

Time for another 'Gairytale', methinks.

SUPERMAN, SPIDERMAN AND...ERM, BANANAMAN

Two of the world's biggest superheroes are friends with a lesser known third,
He flies thru the air, with the greatest difficulty and sings, like a dead bird.
Washing windows part time, then saving the day when he can,
This isn't an ordinary Paolo, this is the unstoppable Bananaman!

Now, Paolo was out washing windows, simply doing his rounds,
Driving from street to street, cleaning glass, in other peoples' grounds.
Moving cobwebs from the window corners, making sure that he could clean,
A voice behind him said "STOP! Hey buddy, how ya been?"

This was Peter Parker, also known as 'Spidey' or 'Spiderman'
Not seeing his friend for ages, it's a catch up, while he can.
Peter then says to Paolo, "Shall we go and make our mark?"
"Och aye!" Says the window cleaner, "Let's go and find our big pal Clark."

They take a trip to Smallville, it's really not that far away,
If they hit the road right now, they'll arrive around midday.
Meanwhile, Clark has had his brunch and going to work on the farm,
Just about to lift a bale of hay, when someone grabs his arm.

Peter and Paolo are standing there, "How are you Clarky, man?"
Giving 'man hugs' all around, Clark says, "Hey boys, what's the plan?"
We thought we'd pay you a visit, maybe go for a fight,
Go and find some villians and kick out of them, seven shades of sh—e.

They're on their way to Metropolis, to seek out all the bad guys,
Clark says, "Let's beat them up good and proper, for they can't match our size."
Paolo said, "I agree with you Clark, but can we stop at the store?
I need to pick up some bananas and later, probably more."

Peter and Clark are laughing, at how Paolo gains his strength,
But Paolo knows he'll beat them, cleaning windows, at any length.
One banana, two banana, three banana, four,
That will have to do for now, in his mouth he can't fit more.

Clarky gets his supergear on, his red cape and blue tights,
Peace and justice the Superman way, protecting human rights.
Now, Peter's in his 'websuit' and becomes the Spiderman,
And actually, no he doesn't, have a face like a frying pan.

Here we have the heroes, three, looking to save the day,
Fighting crime, beating up baddies, each in their own little way.
They do their jobs, the villians are jailed and the deeds are done,
Saying goodbye, going back to routine, now they've had their fun.

But wait a minute, we're not finished here,
I'd like to tell you more about, little Paolo dear.
He's just a normal little lad, from a place called Nuttytown,
Always going to his work, wearing a smile, not a frown.

But when it's called for, you will see him change,
Usually with one banana, his muscles grow and he will find his range.
A super strength, helium boosted heat finger, invulnerability and flight,
Turbo squeedgee, laser gun and all that keeps him right.

Now, with the muscles of twenty men and the brains of twenty mussels,
He still manages to go out there and sort out all the hassles.
So that's the little extra for Paolo, famous wherever he goes,
Looking out his ukulele, singing 'When I'm Cleaning Windows.'

The End.

Chris Gair
08 February 2017.

08/02/2017

Time for a new 'Gairytale', methinks.

SUPERMAN, SPIDERMAN AND...ERM, BANANAMAN

Two of the world's biggest superheroes are friends with a lesser known third,
He flies thru the air, with the greatest difficulty and sings, like a dead bird.
Washing windows part time, then saving the day when he can,
This isn't an ordinary Paolo, this is the unstoppable Bananaman!

Now, Paolo was out washing windows, simply doing his rounds,
Driving from street to street, cleaning glass, in other peoples' grounds.
Moving cobwebs from the window corners, making sure that he could clean,
A voice behind him said "STOP! Hey buddy, how ya been?"

This was Peter Parker, also known as 'Spidey' or 'Spiderman'
Not seeing his friend for ages, it's a catch up, while he can.
Peter then says to Paolo, "Shall we go and make our mark?"
"Och aye!" Says the window cleaner, "Let's go and find our big pal Clark."

They take a trip to Smallville, it's really not that far away,
If they hit the road right now, they'll arrive around midday.
Meanwhile, Clark has had his brunch and going to work on the farm,
Just about to lift a bale of hay, when someone grabs his arm.

Peter and Paolo are standing there, "How are you Clarky, man?"
Giving 'man hugs' all around, Clark says, "Hey boys, what's the plan?"
We thought we'd pay you a visit, maybe go for a fight,
Go and find some villians and kick out of them, seven shades of sh—e.

They're on their way to Metropolis, to seek out all the bad guys,
Clark says, "Let's beat them up good and proper, for they can't match our size."
Paolo said, "I agree with you Clark, but can we stop at the store?
I need to pick up some bananas and later, probably more."

Peter and Clark are laughing, at how Paolo gains his strength,
But Paolo knows he'll beat them, cleaning windows, at any length.
One banana, two banana, three banana, four,
That will have to do for now, in his mouth he can't fit more.

Clarky gets his supergear on, his red cape and blue tights,
Peace and justice the Superman way, protecting human rights.
Now, Peter's in his 'websuit' and becomes the Spiderman,
And actually, no he doesn't, have a face like a frying pan.

Here we have the heroes, three, looking to save the day,
Fighting crime, beating up baddies, each in their own little way.
They do their jobs, the villians are jailed and the deeds are done,
Saying goodbye, going back to routine, now they've had their fun.

But wait a minute, we're not finished here,
I'd like to tell you more about, little Paolo dear.
He's just a normal little lad, from a place called Nuttytown,
Always going to his work, wearing a smile, not a frown.

But when it's called for, you will see him change,
Usually with one banana, his muscles grow and he will find his range.
A super strength, helium boosted heat finger, invulnerability and flight,
Turbo squeedgee, laser gun and all that keeps him right.

Now, with the muscles of twenty men and the brains of twenty mussels,
He still manages to go out there and sort out all the hassles.
So that's the little extra for Paolo, famous wherever he goes,
Looking out his ukulele, singing 'When I'm Cleaning Windows.'

The End.

Chris Gair
08 February 2017.

07/02/2017

Here is the latest one from Chris Gair's Grand Gairytales:

GOLDILOCKS, RED RIDING HOOD, WITH HANSEL & GRETEL

Goldilocks was typing away on the internet, chatting away to some guy in a beautiful foreign country.
He knew her as McNicky and she knew him as – well just some crazy Scottish bloke.
Their conversation had ended and they said their goodbyes, but now Goldilocks was bored...

Goldilocks decides to take a walk in the overgrown wood,
Suddenly she bumps into Little Red Riding Hood.
Red Riding Hood is scared, she is running away,
She blurts out to Goldilocks "A wolf ate my Grandma today"

"Now he is chasing me, I don't know what to do,
I really have to get away, or he's going to eat me too!"
"Come now little Hoodie, please don't you fear,"
Said Goldilocks "I'm going to get you, far away from here."

Running together, they see a house, not so far away,
Hoping for help, to get away from the beast, maybe somewhere to stay.
The front door is open, there is no-one to be seen,
Three bowls of porridge untouched and the table is clean.

Goldilocks tries the first bowl, the porridge is too hot,
Moving onto the second one, 'far too cold' she thought.
Trying the third one, it seemed just about right,
There was no sharing this one, well, not without a fight.

But Little Red Riding Hood, she wasn't holding back,
Scoffing down the first two bowls, her appetite didn't lack.
Someone was approaching the house, the two of them must hide,
Scampering around, looking for a place, into each other they collide.

The house belonged to the three bears, they are now as angry as hell,
"Who's been eating our porridge?!" Daddy bear starts to yell.
The girls must move fast now, there's no time for a kip,
Especially if they are giving, the bears and wolf the slip.

Scarpering out the back door and into the evergreens,
This wasn't an adventure, for the girls, who were not yet teens.
The friends have been running for ages, the sun is setting fast,
Will the angry animals catch them, or will the girls outlast?

Finally, another house, just as the sun disappears,
They knock on what seems to be a candy door, an old lady appears.
"Come in my little darlings, oh my, what a beautiful hood...
You must sit by the fire, keep warm and become more of...erm, eat some food.

Now, Goldilocks and Hoodie, have spied more kids, just another two,
They are Hansel & Gretel and soon to become witchy's stew.
Needing to act swiftly, just to get away from here,
As the wolf and the bears are getting, terrifyingly near.

Goldilocks and Hoodie are locked up with the other two,
The four of them now realise, through the walls they have to chew.
Hoodie starts to put some candy, into her little cape,
As the four of them eat their way, onto the great escape.

Munching for what seems eternity, they finally make a hole,
One keeping a look out, while the others eat towards their goal.
Once the hole is big enough, for their swollen bellies to get through,
They can 'roll' their way back to the woods, and escape the baddies too.

Quietly thru the woods they creep, by a running stream,
Back behind them, they hear the noise, of the witch's scream.
"They're gone! They've escaped! I'll get those little sh*ts,
And when I get my hands on them, I'll tear them all to bits!"

Arriving at the witch's door, the bears and wolf appear,
The wrinkly old hag opens up, in her hand, a can of beer.
"The little buggers have run away, I hate those pesky kids."
Daddy bear says "Pass the tinnie, I'm going to hit the skids!"

The witch is drunk, the bears are hungry and wolfie's run out of steam,
They'll never catch the kids now, because they can't make it as a team.
The happy foursome have now escaped and play like the kids they are,
While witchy poo, the bears and wolfie, have gone searching for a bar.

So, here we are, at the end, there's nothing left to write,
Witchy poo, the bears and wolf, have gone and started a fight.
Bouncers grab them by the scruff and throw them out the pub,
Now looking for the kebab van, so they can have some drunken grub.

The End.
Chris Gair
7 February 2017.

05/02/2017

05/02/2017

VALENTINE'S DAY: Fancy a poem as Cinderella and Prince Charming? PM me a contact number/email and I shall get in touch for some details to make you a fantastic love story.
BOOK NOW TO RECEIVE BEFORE FEBRUARY 14.

04/02/2017

Why not order a Gairytale poem story for you and your loved one for Valentines Day?

25/01/2017

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